花少北道歉

上周，B站2023年百大UP主@花少北丶官宣恋情后，相关传闻持续发酵。

今天，@花少北发长文道歉，承认与前女友煎蛋恋爱七年，并未亏待煎蛋，他表示此前双方互相见过家长，也是真心想一起走到最后的。

借（cèng）此（gè）机（rè）会（diǎn），我们就来看看《纽约时报》的这篇文章「爱情需要用心经营」。

🤔️小作业：

1. Based on the passage, what is a primary reason marriages fail according to experts?

A) Constant conflicts and disagreements

B) Financial instability and stress

C) Lack of effort to maintain the relationship

D) Diverging personal goals and ambitions

A) Tired  B) Accustomed

C) Ignored  D) Dependent

无注释原文：

That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

From: The New York Times, February 5, 2013

When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don't work out, "We can always split."

But the divorce rate in the United States is half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.

I say "embers" because the flame of love - the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet - does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness - or unhappiness.

Infatuation and passion have even shorter life spans, and must evolve into "companionate love, composed more of deep affection, connection and liking," according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

In her new book, "The Myths of Happiness," Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive.

She points out that the natural human tendency to become "habituated" to positive circumstances - to get so used to things that make us feel good that they no longer do - can be the death knell of marital happiness. Psychologists call it "hedonic adaptation": things that thrill us tend to be short-lived.

So Dr. Lyubomirsky's first suggestion is to adopt measures to avert, or at least slow down, the habituation that can lead to boredom and marital dissatisfaction. While her methods may seem obvious, many married couples forget to put them into practice.

Steps to slow, prevent or counteract hedonic adaptation and rescue a so-so marriage should be taken long before the union is in trouble, Dr. Lyubomirsky urges. Her recommended strategies include making time to be together and talk, truly listening to each other, and expressing admiration and affection.

Dr. Lyubomirsky emphasizes "the importance of appreciation": count your blessings and resist taking a spouse for granted. Routinely remind yourself and your partner of what you appreciate about the person and the marriage.

Also important is variety, which is innately stimulating and rewarding and "critical if we want to stave off adaptation," the psychologist writes. Mix things up, be spontaneous, change how you do things with your partner to keep your relationship "fresh, meaningful and positive."

Novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that can also enhance the pleasures of marital sex. But Dr. Lyubomirsky admits that "science has uncovered precious little about how to sustain passionate love." She likens its decline to growing up or growing old, "simply part of being human."

Variety goes hand in hand with another tip: surprise. With time, partners tend to get to know each other all too well, and they can fall into routines that become stultifying. Shake it up. Try new activities, new places, new friends. Learn new skills together.

- ◆ -

注：完整题目见本文开头；中文文本为纽约时报官方译文，仅供参考

含注释全文：

That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

爱情需要用心经营

From: The New York Times, February 5, 2013

When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don't work out, "We can always split."

在人们坠入爱河、决定结婚的时候，他们总是希望自己的爱情、婚姻和幸福能够天长地久；像结婚誓言说的那样，直到死亡将我们分离。在新人携手步入婚姻殿堂时，只有最愤世嫉俗的人才会想到，生活中难免事与愿违，“我们总会分道扬镳”。

vow /vaʊ/ 作名词，表示“誓言；誓约”，英文解释为“a serious promise or decision”举个🌰：She took/made a vow never to lend money to anyone again. 她发誓再也不借钱给别人了。

作动词，表示“发誓，立誓”，英文解释为“to make a determined decision or promise to do something”举个🌰：While many models vow to go back to college, few do. 很多模特儿发誓要重返大学，但几乎无人做到。

🎬电影《诸神之战》（Clash of the Titans）中的台词提到：You vowed to your wife you'd never let Helius wield a sword. 你曾对你的妻子发誓 你永远不会让赫利俄斯使用武器。

cynical /ˈsɪnɪkl/ 1）表示“愤世嫉俗的；怀疑人之真诚的；认为人皆自私的”，英文解释为“believing that people are only interested in themselves and are not sincere”如：a cynical view/smile 愤世嫉俗的观点。

2）表示“利用他人感情的；损人利己的”，英文解释为“used to say that someone's feelings or emotions are used to your own advantage”。

3）表示“悲观的；怀疑的”，英文解释为“not believing that sth good will happen or that sth is important”举个🌰：I'm a bit cynical about the benefits of the plan. 我对这项计划的成效有点儿怀疑。

aisle /aɪl/ 本身作名词表示“（教堂、戏院、火车等座位间或超级市场货架间的）走道，过道”，英文解释为“a passage between rows of seats in a church, theatre, train, etc, or between rows of shelves in a supermarket”

go/walk down the aisle 表示“结婚”，英文解释为“to get married”。

But the divorce rate in the United States is half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

然而，美国人的离婚率是结婚率的一半，对于人们珍视的婚姻制度来说，这并不是个好兆头。

bode /bəʊd/ 表示“预示；预兆”，bode well/ill 表示“（对某人╱某事）是吉兆，是凶兆”，英文解释为“to be a good/bad sign for sb/sth”举个🌰：These figures do not bode well for the company's future. 这些数据对于公司的前景不是个好兆头。

While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.

尽管有些人离婚有非常正当的理由，比如身体和精神上的虐待，难以忍受的婚外情，成瘾行为或者不可调和的矛盾，但是专家表示，许多破裂的婚姻似乎只是源于感情的减弱和消亡，因为夫妻双方没有努力保留爱情火焰的余烬。

justify /ˈdʒʌs.tɪ.faɪ/ 表示“为…辩护；证明…正当（或有理、正确）；是…的正当理由”，英文解释为“to give or to be a good reason for”举个🌰：I can't really justify taking another day off work. 我真的找不出理由再多休一天假了。

📍词根“just-”表示“公正”，“-ify”表示“使成为”。近义词：defend（辩护），同根词：justice（正义），常用短语：justify oneself（为自己辩护）

infidelity /ˌɪn.fɪˈdel.ə.ti/ 表示“（夫妇间的）不忠实，不贞行为”，英文解释为“(an act of) having sex with someone who is not your husband, wife, or regular sexual partner”如：marital/sexual infidelity 婚姻/性方面的不忠。

📍此前，在《致命女人》大结局 续订第二季一文中就提到过infidelity这个词。《致命女人》讲述的是三位生活在不同年代的女性：60年代的家庭主妇，80年代的社交名媛和2018年的律师，处理着婚姻中的不忠行为。For those who have yet to indulge in Why Women Kill, the series follows the lives of three women from different decades—Ginnifer Goodwin plays a housewife in the '60s, Lucy Liu a socialite in the '80s, and Kirby Howell-Baptiste a lawyer in 2019—and examines how each one deals with infidelity in their marriage.

irreconcilable /ˌɪr.ek.ənˈsaɪ.lə.bəl/ 表示“不可调和的；难以应付的”，英文解释为“impossible to find agreement between or with, or impossible to deal with”如：irreconcilable differences of opinion 不可调和的意见分歧。

incompatibility /ˌɪn.kəmˌpæt.əˈbɪl.ə.ti/ 表示“不兼容；不相容；不协调；不一致”，英文解释为“the state of not being able to exist or work with another person or thing because of basic differences”

wither /ˈwɪð.ər/ 1）表示“（使）枯萎，（使）干枯”，英文解释为“(to cause) to become weak and dry and decay”举个🌰：Grass had withered in the fields. 田里的草都枯萎了。

2）表示“萎缩；逐渐消失”，英文解释为“to slowly disappear, lose importance, or become weaker”举个🌰：That country is in danger of allowing its industrial base to wither away. 那个国家正面临着工业基础萎缩的危险。

ember /ˈem.bər/ 表示“余火未尽的木块（或煤块）”，英文解释为“a piece of wood or coal, etc. that continues to burn after a fire has no more flames”举个🌰：We sat by the glowing/dying embers of the fire. 我们坐在余火未尽/将尽的炉火旁。

I say "embers" because the flame of love - the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet - does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

我用“余烬”这个词，是因为爱情的火焰——这种感情促使人们忘记所有的烦恼，如同脚生双翼，在大街上飞奔——并不会持续很久，即使情侣们竭尽全力也不会长久。新恋情点燃的热情不免会冷却，必须逐渐转化成对彼此的关心、同情和友谊，双方才能维持长久的关系。

prompt /prɒmpt/ 作名词，1）表示“（计算机屏幕上的）提示符（显示计算机已经准备好接受指令）”，英文解释为“a sign on a computer screen that shows that the computer is ready to receive your instructions”

📍在ChatGPT火热的今天，prompt通常指的是给模型的输入，用来激发或引导模型生成特定的输出或回答。简而言之，prompt是指用户提供给语言模型的一段文字或命令，以便模型据此理解用户的需求并给出相应的响应或信息。例如，在与像ChatGPT这样的大语言模型交互时，用户提出的问题或指令就是一个“prompt”。模型会根据这个prompt的内容分析、处理并生成回答或执行相关的任务。Prompt对于大语言模型来说是非常关键的，因为它直接决定了模型如何理解和回应用户的需求。

📍prompt中文里有译为“提示词”，prompt engineering 就是“提示工程/提示词工程”。

2）表示“（给演员的）提词，提白”，英文解释为“words that are spoken to an actor who has forgotten what he or she is going to say during the performance of a play”

3）作动词，表示“促使；导致；激起”，英文解释为“to make sb decide to do sth; to cause sth to happen”举个🌰：His speech prompted an angry outburst from a man in the crowd. 他的讲话激起了人群中一男子的愤怒。

📺美剧《斯巴达克斯：血与沙》（Spartacus: Blood and Sand）中的台词提到：One cannot but wonder what would prompt such an act 不知他们为何遭此不幸。

4）作动词，表示“（尤指）给（演员）提词”，英文解释为“to help someone, especially an actor, to remember what they were going to say or do”举个🌰：I forgot my line and had to be prompted. 我忘词了，只好让人提词。

ignite /ɪɡˈnaɪt/ 1）表示“激起”，英文解释为“If something or someone ignites your feelings, they cause you to have very strong feelings about something.”举个🌰：There was one teacher who really ignited my interest in words. 曾经有一位老师真正激起了我对文字的兴趣。

2）表示“点燃；着火”，英文解释为“When you ignite something or when it ignites, it starts burning or explodes.”举个🌰：The bombs ignited a fire which destroyed some 60 houses. 炸弹引起了一场火灾，烧毁了大约六十间房屋。

mature /məˈtʃʊər/ 作动词，1）表示“变成熟”，英文解释为“to become more developed mentally and emotionally and behave in a responsible way”举个🌰：Girls are said to mature faster than boys. 据说女孩比男孩成熟快。

2）表示“酝酿成熟，完善”，英文解释为“If ideas, opinions, etc. mature, they reach an advanced or developed state.”举个🌰：It took several years for her ideas to mature. 她的想法经过几年才酝酿成熟。

compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ 表示“同情，怜悯，恻隐之心”，英文解释为“a strong feeling of sympathy for people who are suffering and a desire to help them”

companionship /kəmˈpæn.jən.ʃɪp/ 表示“情谊，友谊”，英文解释为“the enjoyment of spending time with other people”举个🌰：I lived on my own for a while but I missed the companionship of others. 我一个人生活了一段时间，但很怀念同伴的情谊。

sustain /səˈsteɪn/ 1）表示“保持，维持，使持续，使继续”，英文解释为“to cause or allow something to continue for a period of time”举个🌰：The economy looks set to sustain its growth into next year. 看来经济的增长会持续到明年。

2）表示“经历，遭受（尤指破坏或损失）”，英文解释为“to suffer or experience, especially damage or loss”举个🌰：She sustained multiple injuries in the accident. 她在这次事故中多处受伤。

Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness - or unhappiness.

理查德·卢卡斯(Richard E. Lucas)和他在密歇根州立大学(Michigan State University)的同事进行的研究表明，通过婚姻提升的幸福感只能持续大约两年的时间，此后人们会恢复到原来的幸福水平——或者再次感受到不幸福。

boost /buːst/ 可以作名词也可以作动词，表示“改善；提高；增强；推动”，英文解释为“to improve or increase something”举个🌰：The theatre managed to boost its audiences by cutting ticket prices. 剧院设法通过降低票价来增加观众数量。

📍“佩洛西有病还是先治病吧”文中提到be boosted，get boosted用来指打了加强针（疫苗），也有说booster shot/booster dose.

revert /rɪˈvɜːt/ 表示“归还；归属；回复；恢复”，英文解释为“to return to the original owner agai；to return to a former state; to start doing sth again that you used to do in the past”举个🌰：His manner seems to have reverted to normal. 他的举止好像已经恢复了正常。

revert to sth表示“回到，恢复，重提（不好的或令人不满意的事情）”，英文解释为“to return to doing, using, being, or referring to something, usually something bad or less satisfactory”举个🌰：Why does the conversation have to revert to money every five minutes? 为什么话题每5分钟就会回到钱上去？

Infatuation and passion have even shorter life spans, and must evolve into "companionate love, composed more of deep affection, connection and liking," according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

加州大学河滨分校(University of California, Riverside)的心理学教授索尼娅·柳博米尔斯基(Sonja Lyubomirsky)表示，迷恋与热情持续的时间甚至更短，必须转化成“伴侣之爱，包括更多深厚的亲情、友情和喜爱”。

infatuation /ɪnˌfætʃ.uˈeɪ.ʃən/ 表示“（通常短期）热恋，着迷”，英文解释为“strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction”举个🌰：No one expected their infatuation with each other to last. 没有人认为他们的热恋会持久。

evolve /ɪˈvɒlv/ 表示“（使）逐渐形成，逐步发展，逐渐演变，进化”，英文解释为“to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complicated form; to develop sth in this way”举个🌰：The company has evolved into a major chemical manufacturer. 这家公司已逐步发展成一个主要的化工厂。

compose /kəmˈpəʊz/ 1）表示“作曲；创作（乐曲、诗歌）；著（书）”，英文解释为“to produce music, poetry, or formal writing”举个🌰：The music was specially composed for the film. 这音乐是专门为该电影创作的。

2）be composed of sth 表示“由…组成，由…构成”，英文解释为“to be formed from various things”举个🌰：Air is composed mainly of nitrogen and oxygen. 空气主要由氮和氧构成。

In her new book, "The Myths of Happiness," Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive.

在她的新书《幸福的神话》(The Myths of Happiness)中，柳博米尔斯基博士描述了一系列经过研究验证的行为和言语，能够为人们创造保持爱情活力的奇迹。

slew /sluː/ 表示“大量；许多”，英文解释为“a large number or amount of sth”举个🌰：There have been a whole slew of shooting incidents. 已经发生过大量枪击案。

She points out that the natural human tendency to become "habituated" to positive circumstances - to get so used to things that make us feel good that they no longer do - can be the death knell of marital happiness. Psychologists call it "hedonic adaptation": things that thrill us tend to be short-lived.

她指出，人类天生就有“适应”积极环境的倾向——习惯于那些让我们感觉良好、前所未有的事物——这可能成为幸福婚姻的丧钟。心理学家称其为“享乐适应”：这些刺激我们的快感往往是短暂的。

habituated /həˈbɪtʃ.u.eɪ.tɪd/ 表示“习惯于（尤指令人不愉快的事）的”，英文解释为“used to something, especially something unpleasant”举个🌰：We find children's emotional needs difficult to respond to because we are habituated to disregarding our own. 我们难以对孩子们的情感需求作出反应，这是因为我们习惯于忽视自己的情感需求。

death knell /ˈdeθ ˌnel/ 表示“终结的预兆，完结的信号”，英文解释为“a warning of the end of something”举个🌰：The opening of the superstore will sound/toll the death knell for (= cause the failure of) hundreds of small independent shops. 大型超市的开张将会为数百家独立经营的小店铺敲响丧钟。

marital /ˈmærɪtl/表示“婚姻的；夫妻关系的”，英文解释为“connected with marriage”举个🌰：They've been having marital problems, apparently. 很显然，他们的婚姻一直有问题。

hedonic /hiːˈdɒn.ɪk/ 表示“快乐的；享乐的”，英文解释为“connected with feelings of pleasure”举个🌰：Many purchases are related to hedonic impulses. 许多购物行为和享乐冲动有关。

thrill /θrɪl/ 表示“（使）兴奋；（使）激动；（使）紧张”，英文解释为“to make someone feel very excited and pleased”举个🌰：The 22-year-old swimmer thrilled the world with his performance. 这位22岁的游泳选手以他的表现让全世界激动。

So Dr. Lyubomirsky's first suggestion is to adopt measures to avert, or at least slow down, the habituation that can lead to boredom and marital dissatisfaction. While her methods may seem obvious, many married couples forget to put them into practice.

因此，柳博米尔斯基的第一条建议是，采取措施避免或者至少缓解享乐适应的影响，这会导致人们产生厌倦，对婚姻不满。尽管她的方法也许看起来浅显易懂，但是许多已婚夫妇忘记将其付诸实践。

avert /əˈvɜːt/  1）表示“防止，避免”，英文解释为“to prevent something bad from happening”如：to avert a crisis/conflict/famine 避免危机/冲突/饥荒。

2）表示“转移（目光、想法等）；把…转（向别处）”，英文解释为“to turn away your eyes or thoughts”举个🌰：I averted my gaze/eyes while he dressed. 他穿衣服的时候我把目光转向一边。

📍词源和词根：来自拉丁语的"avertare"，"a-"是"离开"的意思，"vertere"是"转向"的意思。派生词：avertable, aversion，常用短语：avert one's eyes 避开视线。

habituation /həˌbɪtʃ.uˈeɪ.ʃən/ 表示“成为习惯”，英文解释为“the process of people or animals becoming used to something, so that they no longer find it unpleasant or think it is a threat”

Steps to slow, prevent or counteract hedonic adaptation and rescue a so-so marriage should be taken long before the union is in trouble, Dr. Lyubomirsky urges. Her recommended strategies include making time to be together and talk, truly listening to each other, and expressing admiration and affection.

柳博米尔斯基博士呼吁，夫妻双方应该在遇到麻烦之前，采取措施来缓解、防止或抵消“享乐适应”的影响，挽救平淡的婚姻。她推荐的策略包括抽出时间一起聊天，真诚地倾听彼此的想法，向对方表达赞美和爱慕。

counteract /ˌkaʊn.tərˈækt/ 表示“抵消；对抗；减少”，英文解释为“to reduce or remove the effect of something unwanted by producing an opposite effect”举个🌰：Drinking a lot of water counteracts the dehydrating effects of hot weather. 大量饮水可缓解炎热天气引起的脱水。

📺美剧《绝命毒师》（Breaking Bad）中的台词提到：Although, we'll prescribe an anti-emetic and try to counteract that. 不过我们会开些止吐剂 帮助缓解症状。

so-so /ˌsəʊˈsəʊ/ 表示“一般（的），不好不坏（的）”，英文解释为“between average quality and low quality; not good or well”如：a so-so performance 一般的表现。

recommend /ˌrek.əˈmend/ 表示“推荐，介绍；建议”，英文解释为“to suggest that someone or something would be good or suitable for a particular job or purpose, or to suggest that a particular action should be done”举个🌰：I can recommend the chicken in mushroom sauce - it's delicious. 我可以向您推荐蘑菇汁鸡肉——这道菜非常可口。

📍单词“recommend”由词根“-mend”（来自拉丁语“mendare”，表示“赞扬”）和前缀“reco-”（表示强调）组成。想象你正在强烈推荐一道美味的鸡肉沙拉，这就是“recommend”。

Dr. Lyubomirsky emphasizes "the importance of appreciation": count your blessings and resist taking a spouse for granted. Routinely remind yourself and your partner of what you appreciate about the person and the marriage.

柳博米尔斯基博士强调“赞赏的重要性”：珍惜你获得的幸福，不要想当然地对待你的配偶。经常提醒自己和你的伴侣，你多么赞赏对方和这段婚姻。

count your blessings表示“往好处想；知足”，英文解释为“to be grateful for the good things in your life, often to stop yourself becoming too unhappy about the bad things”

resist /rɪˈzɪst/ 1）表示“抵制；阻挡；抗拒”，英文解释为“to refuse to accept or be changed by something”举个🌰：She resisted demands for her resignation. 她拒不答应她辞职的要求。

2）表示“按捺；忍住；拒受…的影响”，英文解释为“to stop yourself from doing something that you want to do”举个🌰：I can never resist temptation/chocolate/the urge to laugh. 我向来无法抗拒诱惑/我永远不可能抵挡巧克力的诱惑/我要是想笑，怎么也忍不住。

take sth for granted 表示“认为…是理所当然的”，英文解释为“to believe something to be the truth without even thinking about it”举个🌰：I didn't realize that she hadn't been to college - I suppose I just took it for granted. 我不知道她没上大学——我只是想当然地认为她上过了。

Also important is variety, which is innately stimulating and rewarding and "critical if we want to stave off adaptation," the psychologist writes. Mix things up, be spontaneous, change how you do things with your partner to keep your relationship "fresh, meaningful and positive."

变化也同样重要，这是内在的刺激和奖励，心理学家写道，“如果我们想避免享乐适应，变化显得至关重要”。心血来潮地换个新花样，改变你和伴侣相处的方式，让你们的关系保持“新鲜感，充满意义和积极性”。

variety /vəˈraɪə.ti/ 1）表示“不同种类；不同品种”，英文解释为“a different type of something”举个🌰：Our supermarket stocks apples in several different varieties. 我们超市有几个不同品种的苹果。

2）表示“多样化；变化”，英文解释为“the characteristic of often changing and being different”举个🌰：When planning meals, you need to think about variety and taste as well as nutritional value. 做饭时，你既需要考虑饭菜的营养价值，又需要考虑饭菜的花样和味道。

innately /ɪˈneɪt.li/ 表示“天生地，固有地”，英文解释为“connected with a quality or ability that you were born with, not one you have learned”举个🌰：I don't believe that human beings are innately evil. 我不相信人类是天生邪恶的。

1）表示“刺激，使兴奋；使感兴趣”，英文解释为“to make someone excited and interested about something”举个🌰：The show was intended to stimulate and amuse. 这部电影的主要目的是助兴和娱乐。

2）表示“激发，激励；促进”，英文解释为“to encourage something to grow, develop, or become active”

stave sth/sb off表示“（通常指暂时地）挡住，阻止，避开；延缓”，英文解释为“to stop something bad from happening, or to keep an unwanted situation or person away, usually temporarily”举个🌰：We were hoping to stave off these difficult decisions until September. 我们希望将这些难以抉择的事搁到9月份。

spontaneous /spɒnˈteɪ.ni.əs/ 表示“自发的；非筹划安排的；非勉强的”，英文解释为“happening or done in a natural, often sudden way, without any planning or without being forced”举个🌰：His jokes seemed spontaneous, but were in fact carefully prepared beforehand. 他讲的笑话似乎是即兴的，但实际上是事先精心准备好的。

Novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that can also enhance the pleasures of marital sex. But Dr. Lyubomirsky admits that "science has uncovered precious little about how to sustain passionate love." She likens its decline to growing up or growing old, "simply part of being human."

新鲜感是强有力的兴奋剂，也能增加夫妻性生活的情趣。不过柳博米尔斯基也承认，“科学发现保持激情之爱的方法乏善可陈。”她把激情的衰退与人类的成长和衰老联系起来，“这仅仅是人性的一部分。”

enhance /ɪnˈhɑːns/ 表示“提高；增加；增强；增进”，英文解释为“to improve the quality, amount, or strength of something”举个🌰：These scandals will not enhance the organization's reputation. 这些丑闻可不会提高这个组织的声誉。

Variety goes hand in hand with another tip: surprise. With time, partners tend to get to know each other all too well, and they can fall into routines that become stultifying. Shake it up. Try new activities, new places, new friends. Learn new skills together.

除了变化，我们还有另一个小窍门：制造惊喜。随着时间的流逝，伴侣通常对彼此过为熟悉，陷入单调乏味的日常生活。他们应该振作精神，尝试新的活动，游览新的地方，结识新的朋友，共同学习新的技能。

stultifying /ˈstʌl.tɪ.faɪ.ɪŋ/ 表示“阻碍发展的；使僵化的；乏味得使人呆滞的；使人思维迟钝的”，英文解释为“making you feel very bored and unable to think of new ideas；preventing new ideas from developing”如：the stultifying effects of work that never varies一成不变的工作造成的使人呆滞的后果。

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