想拥有一段更美好的爱情？
LearnAndRecord约 9 分钟这里有几条建议。
🤔️小作业：
1. What can be inferred about conflict in marriage?
A. Any level of conflict is harmful.
B. Avoiding all conflict may damage a relationship.
C. Only serious arguments strengthen marriage.
D. Couples who fight often are happier.
无注释原文：
Ways to Improve Your Love Life
From: The New York Times
Skip small talk.
In getting to know someone, don't waste too many words (or precious hours of your life) asking dull questions about commuting times or the weather. As Tim Boomer suggests, dive deep from the start with big questions, such as “What work are you most passionate about?” and “What's the most in love you've ever felt?”
Don't be afraid to fight in your marriage, or to fight for it.
Too much fighting can lead to divorce, but it turns out too little fighting can also split you up. Laura Pritchett and her husband thought love was all about peace and harmony, so they tried to avoid conflict entirely. “But that kind of love often doesn't survive life,” she realized, “and in the end, our silence was less about respect or affection or love than it was about cowardice.”
Get married, and stay married, out of want, not need.
Who needs men? Who needs marriage? After divorcing twice, Karen Rinaldi found herself questioning the whole concept of “need” in a relationship, resolving never to marry again. Then she married again — a union that has lasted for 20-plus years. “I don't need him,” she said, “but I want him in my life. He doesn't protect me from others, only from my worst instincts.”
If a man uses a sandwich for his online dating headshot, steer clear.
Even if the sandwich looks mouth-wateringly delicious. Even if that sandwich makes witty bread puns and asks you to be his “bay-gal.” Also, avoid a man who wears clip-in bike shoes to your first date, making him sound like a horse as he clippety-clops across the restaurant's wood floor.
Say what you want from the relationship.
If someone has put you in the Friend Zone and you want the relationship to be more, don't assume the person will magically figure out your feelings. In an age where many people are content to let relationships remain undefined for months or even years, it's up to you to define them. So be brave and say what you want. True, you may lose the friendship (or whatever it was) by doing so, but emotional clarity can be its own reward.
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注：完整题目见本文开头；中文文本为纽约时报官方译文，仅供参考
含注释全文：
Ways to Improve Your Love Life
From: The New York Times
Skip small talk. 跳过闲聊。
In getting to know someone, don't waste too many words (or precious hours of your life) asking dull questions about commuting times or the weather. As Tim Boomer suggests, dive deep from the start with big questions, such as “What work are you most passionate about?” and “What's the most in love you've ever felt?”
在认识新朋友的时候，不要浪费太多口舌（或你生命的宝贵时光）询问通勤时间或天气等无聊的问题。正如蒂姆·布默(Tim Boomer)所建议的那样，从一开始就要深入那些大问题，比如“你对什么样的工作会有热情？”和“你曾经感受过最深刻的爱情，是怎样的呢？”。
dull
dull /dʌl/ 表示“枯燥的，乏味的，无趣的”，英文解释为“not interesting or exciting in any way”举个🌰：He's pleasant enough, but deadly dull. 他很和善，但太乏味。
作动词，表示“缓和，缓解；减轻”，英文解释为“to make something less severe”举个🌰：Homeless children sniff glue to dull their hunger pains. 无家可归的孩子吸胶毒来减轻饥饿带来的痛苦。
commute
commute /kəˈmjuːt/ 可以作名词，也可以作动词，表示“上下班往返；往返于工作地点与家之间；通勤”，英文解释为“a regular journey between work and home”举个🌰：It's at least an hour's commute to work. 上班路上至少要花1个小时。
passionate
passionate /ˈpæʃ.ən.ət/ 表示“情绪激昂的，热情的”，英文解释为“having very strong feelings or emotions”如：a passionate speech 热情洋溢的演讲。
Don't be afraid to fight in your marriage, or to fight for it. 不要害怕在婚姻中争吵（或为之争取）。
Too much fighting can lead to divorce, but it turns out too little fighting can also split you up. Laura Pritchett and her husband thought love was all about peace and harmony, so they tried to avoid conflict entirely. “But that kind of love often doesn't survive life,” she realized, “and in the end, our silence was less about respect or affection or love than it was about cowardice.”
争吵太多会导致离婚，但是如果争吵太少，也会导致你们分开。劳拉·普利切特(Laura Pritchett)和她丈夫以为爱就是和平与和谐，于是完全避免发生冲突。她后来意识到，“但那种爱是无法在生活中生存的，到最后，我们的沉默更多是出于怯懦，而非出于尊重或爱。”
cowardice
cowardice /ˈkaʊ.ə.dɪs/ 表示“怯懦”，英文解释为“the behaviour of someone who is not at all brave and tries to avoid danger”举个🌰：Cowardice prevented me from doing what I knew I should do. 懦弱使我无法做我知道自己应该做的事情。
Get married, and stay married, out of want, not need. 不因为想要，也不因为需要而结婚或维持婚姻。
Who needs men? Who needs marriage? After divorcing twice, Karen Rinaldi found herself questioning the whole concept of “need” in a relationship, resolving never to marry again. Then she married again — a union that has lasted for 20-plus years. “I don't need him,” she said, “but I want him in my life. He doesn't protect me from others, only from my worst instincts.”
谁需要男人？谁需要婚姻？离婚两次后，凯伦·里纳尔迪(Karen Rinaldi)发现自己开始质疑“需要”处在一段关系里的这个概念，决心再也不结婚。然后她又结婚了，这次持续了20多年。“我不需要他，”她说，“但我希望他在我的生活里。他不能保护我不受他人伤害，只能让我不受自己糟糕直觉的伤害。”
resolve
resolve /rɪˈzɒlv/ 表示“决定；决心；决意”，英文解释为“to make a decision formally or with determination”举个🌰：She resolved that she would never speak to him again. 她决心再也不理他。
instinct
instinct /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ 表示“本能，直觉”，英文解释为“the way people or animals naturally react or behave, without having to think or learn about it”举个🌰：All his instincts told him to stay near the car and wait for help. 他的直觉告诉他要呆在车旁、等待救援。
If a man uses a sandwich for his online dating headshot, steer clear. 如果一个男人用三明治做网上约会头像，离他远一点。
Even if the sandwich looks mouth-wateringly delicious. Even if that sandwich makes witty bread puns and asks you to be his “bay-gal.” Also, avoid a man who wears clip-in bike shoes to your first date, making him sound like a horse as he clippety-clops across the restaurant's wood floor.
就算是那个三明治看起来好吃到让你想流口水，就算那个三明治会讲关于面包的诙谐双关笑话。还有，要躲开那些在第一次约会穿自行车鞋的男性，当他“哒哒”地走过餐厅的木地板时，会发出像马一样的声音。
headshot
headshot指的是（用于社交媒体、个人资料上的）头像照片。
mouth-wateringly
mouth-wateringly表示“让人垂涎地” 或 “令人馋涎欲滴地”，通常用来描述食物看起来非常好吃，以至于嘴里开始流口水，也常被借用来形容某人或某物极其迷人、吸引人。
witty
witty /ˈwɪt.i/ 表示“风趣的，诙谐的；言辞诙谐的；巧妙的；妙趣横生的；机智的”，英文解释为“using words in a clever and funny way”如：awittycomment/remark风趣的评论/话语。
wit作名词，表示“（说话的）幽默风趣”，英文解释为“the ability to use words in a clever and humorous way”，也可以指人，“说话风趣的人；才思敏捷说话诙谐的人；机智幽默的人”（a person who is skilled at using words in a clever and humorous way）
pun
pun /pʌn/ 表示“双关语，语义双关的俏皮话”，英文解释为“a humorous use of a word or phrase that has several meanings or that sounds like another word”举个🌰：She made a couple of dreadful puns. 她说出了几个令人不快的双关语。
clip-in
clip-in bike shoes表示（自行车）自锁鞋，是指自行车运动专用鞋的鞋底上装有锁片（cleat），可以卡入（clip in）自行车脚踏板的锁扣机构中，这样骑行时脚和脚踏板是固定在一起的，能提高踩踏效率。
clippety-clop
clippety-clop在这里是拟声词，模仿的是马蹄踩在硬地面上发出的嘚嘚声。
注：此处是一个非常生动的讽刺——第一次约会本来应该展现自己最好的一面，结果这个男人却穿着不适合走路的自行车鞋，像匹马一样在安静的餐厅地板上“哒哒哒”地响，场面既尴尬又滑稽，通常被认为是一种缺乏社交常识、不合时宜的行为。
Say what you want from the relationship. 把对这段感情想说的说出来。
If someone has put you in the Friend Zone and you want the relationship to be more, don't assume the person will magically figure out your feelings. In an age where many people are content to let relationships remain undefined for months or even years, it's up to you to define them. So be brave and say what you want. True, you may lose the friendship (or whatever it was) by doing so, but emotional clarity can be its own reward.
如果有人把你划为朋友，但你想更进一步时，不要以为对方能神奇地自己搞明白你的想法。在这个很多人喜欢几个月、甚至数年都不去定义一段关系的时代，需要你来定义这段关系。所以，勇敢地说出你所想的吧。这样做，你确实可能会失去这段友谊，但情感上的明确本身就是回报了。
clarity
clarity /ˈklær.ə.ti/ 作名词，1）表示“清楚明了；清晰易懂”，英文解释为“the quality of being clear and easy to understand”举个🌰：There has been a call for greater clarity in this area of the law. 人们呼吁该法规的这个方面应该更加明确一些。
2）表示“（思路）清晰，清楚”，英文解释为“the ability to think clearly and not be confused”举个🌰：He has shown great clarity of mind. 可以看出他的思维极其清晰。
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